Girlfriend in Thailand
Enjoy the company of a beautiful Thai girl on your vacation or get yourself the best wife ever.
Do you want a girlfriend for a vacation in Thailand? Do you want a long-term girlfriend in Thailand, or do you want a Thai girl for marriage? In either case, I will try to help you with some information on this page regarding Thai girls and where to find them.
In Thailand, you are not limited to choose between girls and men; if you are looking for a third option, please take a look at the ladyboy article.
Thai culture is quite different from the Western culture when it comes to relationships. One of the differences is that a Thai girl often gets married for security over love. And even more so when marrying a foreigner. Love can come over time, and it can grow very strong. A Thai girl may be the best wife you could ever want, but most relationships between a Thai girl and a western man start out of convenience for the girl. A Thai girl looks for stability and a man that can take care of her and to some degree her family.
This is why you often see a big age difference between a western man and a Thai girlfriend. The age is not that important for them, it can often be an advantage for the man to be older, as older men usually are more stable and more established. Age is a secondary thing. The same goes for your looks. If you are overweight or ugly does not matter that much. Sex wise they may prefer young men and good looking men, however, sex preferences are a secondary thing too.
When it comes to a short-term relationship, money is what matters. Only, you will not experience it that way. Below I use the word "professional" instead of "prostitute" in order to differentiate. Even if a girl is a prostitute, it will not be like if you are renting a prostitute in your own country. A Thai girl is warm, and caring and also very good to pretend. You will feel in every way, that she is in love with you.
Please note that there can be many reasons why a Thai girl becomes a professional or semi-professional. Do not judge them by how they are making a living. She may do it because the money is easier than if working long hours at a factory for 500 dollars a month. She may do it because she needs more money than what she can get at a factory. She may do it because she is told to do it by her mother in order to provide for the family. A Thai girl is brought up to respect the choices of her parents, especially her mother. If her mother tells her to go work as a bar girl, she will do it. There may, of course, be many other reasons, like doing it in order to find a foreign man to marry.
You can find yourself a good girl in a bar or similar, especially if you find her before she has been there a long time. If she gets used to the lifestyle, it can be difficult to change her ways. In short: Professional girls are not necessarily bad. And good girls are not necessarily good, I have heard more than one story of "good girls" with respected jobs that scam western men for all their money.
Do not send money to girls you meet on a dating site. Scammers are using dating sites, and it may not even be a girl, you are chatting with or sending money to.
Be aware that most of the girls speak English "only little". If they do speak English reasonably well, it is usually a sign that they have been working with foreigners, one way or another.
Girlfriend for a Vacation in Thailand
If you want a Thai girlfriend while on vacation in Thailand, and you expect to have sex, she will expect to be paid! She will most likely be a professional, or she may be a semi-professional that wants to earn a little extra money besides her usual salary. This is true even if you find the girl at a dating site or in a disco. If you want a real girlfriend, then do not expect to have sex with her during your vacation, and you really should skip this section and go to the section Marrying a Thai Girl.
Renting a girl for your vacation is called a GFE, a girlfriend experience. Thai girls are extremely good at this, thus it is not comparable with renting professionals in western countries. It will feel in every way as a real girlfriend, only, you will have to pay her.
It can be difficult to start negotiating a price if the girl herself does not mention money. The more professional of them will mention their price up front. If she does not mention a price, be prepared to pay around 1,000-2,000 baht a day plus all expenses for the duration, including shopping for clothes etc.
If she is asking for money up front, do not pay it all in advance. You will risk that she leaves after a day or two. Agree to pay her each day or at the last day. And do not make a runner yourself. The girls are poor, they need the money.
If there is no talk about money, it can be very easy to forget that she does it for money. It will feel very much like a real relationship. Enjoy it, but do not forget to pay her. If you feel awkward to offer her money or if you are afraid to hurt her feelings, you can leave the money on her purse on the last day. You can be sure she will take the money with a big smile.
Do not think that she stay with you for love or to have sex. Thai "good girls" do not have sex with strangers, even if they have been chatting for weeks on the Internet. Usually, the first few dates with a good girl are with a chaperon. It will take some time to get to the point of having sex with a good girl. Not a day or two but more likely a trip or two.
Things are changing a bit amongst the young Thais, influenced by western ways. However, that would only be the case only if you are young too. And it is very rare. Even if you are a young and very handsome guy, expect to pay.
Where to Find the Girls
Dating sites are very good for finding a girl for a vacation. However, please state clearly what you are looking for, as there is no reason to try to cheat girls into thinking you are looking for a long-term relationship or marriage if that is not the case.
The dating site MizzThai is specialising in setting up a tourist with a girlfriend for his vacation.
Another way of finding a girl for a GFE is when you reach your destination. This method can be better, as you can "test drive" the girl to see if you want to spend the rest of your holiday with her. It can be a bit of a downer to chat with a girl on a dating site for a couple of weeks only to discover that you do not want to spend time with her in real life.
The easiest way to find a girl at your destination would be to go for a professional, either in a massage shop or at a bar. Expect in both cases to pay a fine to her employer for her getting the days off. Usually from 300 baht and up to 1,000 baht a day in the more expensive bars. This is not the pay to the girl, you will have to pay her too.
Another way to find a girl at your destination would be in a disco or similar. They will want to be paid - don't fool yourself to think otherwise - but you will not have to pay a fine to an employer.
Most Thai girls are very shy. Even professional girls can have a very hard time talking about money. Always pay them, even if they do not mention money!
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Long-term Girlfriend in Thailand
Thais are very conservative, thus a long-term girlfriend will often mean marriage. However, you can have a longtime GFE, meaning that the girl is there for you whenever you are in Thailand. You will have to pay her of course, and she may ask you to send her money while you are away. That is called sponsoring. She will say that she need the money if she is to stop working, that is, not go with other men. Please note, that even if you do sponsor her, it does not mean that she actually will stop going with other men.
Sponsoring can be an option if you are planning to get married, otherwise, it is only money out the window. If you can afford it, and if you want to see it as a ticket to be first in line when you are in Thailand, fine. But do not fool yourself. If not part of a plan to get married, she will most likely consider you as stupid for paying.
The more cunning of the girls will try to get money from you besides the usual sponsoring. Like telling you that her mother is sick and need money for the hospital, or that the motorbike needs repair, or that the family buffalo is sick. They can be very convincing.
Even if you do pay in connection with a marriage, she may still keep her options open by going with other men and having more sponsors. In a way, this is understandable. Many western men get cold feet or have been lying about their intentions. If a girl is true to only one man, she may risk that she ends up with nothing. So she may very well be betting on more than one horse.
Many western men will claim, that their girl is different. Yes, there are exceptions to the rule but bear in mind that they are very rare. Chances are, that your girl is not different.
Where to Find the Girls
See under Girlfriend for a Vacation in Thailand.
Marrying a Thai Girl
If you are looking for marriage, you need to decide if you want to move to Thailand or if you want the girl to come live in your country. In the case of the latter, please check the requirement for a foreign spouse in your country. Some countries make it very hard to "import" a wife. There are also requirements for you to stay in Thailand, but they are not nearly as tough.
You have to realise that you marry the family, not just the girl. Not meaning that they will bother you as much in person as if you marry a western girl unless you live in Thailand, but they will want money from you. The social security in Thailand is nowhere along the lines of western countries. Thus children often have to provide for their parents. And that is expected even more so if the girl is married to a wealthy foreigner — in their eyes, we are all wealthy and compared to them, we really are.
Some families are reasonable, others will try to milk you for every penny they can get. You should discuss money for the family with the girl before getting married, telling her what you will be able and willing to pay. Many Thais do not understand that even if we get a very high salary compared to them, our expenses are very high too. It is important that you try to make her understand, that there are limits to what you can do.
Sin sot (a dowry) is money and gold you give to the bride's family when you marry. We used to have the same custom in the west, however, in Thailand the custom is still very much alive. In some families, they will not expect sin sot when a foreigner is involved. In other families, they will expect even more, as the foreigner have more money than a Thai husband. However, sin sot is not as important as it used to be. Some places paying sin sot is only for show, thus you will get back the money and gold after the wedding party.
This is another thing you will have to discuss with the girl before marrying her. In any case, do not look at this as buying your wife. It will feel so for most western men, but that is not the way Thais see it. In case the parents will keep the sin sot, you should know that the amount is negotiable. What can get the price down is if the girl is over 30 years old, have been married before or have a child. On the other hand, you being a foreigner is pushing up the price.
Be prepared to experience problems due to cultural differences. It can lead to big fights. Although, you may never notice that there is a problem. Generally, Thais are very conflict adverse. They are prone to tell a lie rather than tell you something they figure you do not want to hear. Thus she may very well hide any dissatisfaction until it gets too much for her, and you wake up to an empty house.
Final warning: Do not bring more money into the relationship than you are willing to loose. Get a prenup if you have any valuables. If you decide to live with her in Thailand, do not be worth more dead than alive. This may sound scary, but for a few men, it has literally meant the difference between life and death.
Where to find the girls
Dating sites are very good for finding a girl for marriage, as are sites offering mail order brides. If you know other men that are married to a Thai girl, then you can ask the girls for help. They will probably know several girls that are looking for a western husband.
If you are using the Internet to find yourself a bride, you have to beware of scammers. Do not send the girl money, unless you already know her well and not until you have already met her in real life. This includes a plane ticket for her to travel to your country. Scammers will try to get you to pay for a plane ticket. If you send the money, you may never hear from her again - unless she will tell you that something happened, so she could not leave - like a sick mother - and she will ask you to send money for a new ticket and/or to help with her mother's hospital bill. Even if you buy the ticket yourself instead of sending money, she may be able to get a refund.
Do not "mail order" a girl to come to your country, whether you met her on the Internet or from a recommendation from a friend. If you do not like her, or if there are any problems, it can be very costly and difficult to send her home. Go meet the girl in Thailand first.
If you are going to Thailand, you will find helpful information and articles about various places in Thailand at Go, Travel to Thailand.